


Loss

by PrincessMeow1989



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Angst, Character Death, F/M, Timothee Chalamet as Regulus Black
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-27
Updated: 2020-12-27
Packaged: 2021-03-10 16:47:59
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,490
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28370388
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PrincessMeow1989/pseuds/PrincessMeow1989
Summary: Death is never easy...especially when it's the person that you love.
Relationships: Regulus Black/Reader
Kudos: 23





	Loss

“Regulus is dead. I’m sorry to tell you this way.” 

Walburga’s emotionless comment swirled through your mind as you lay in a crumpled heap. You had woken up from your drunken stupor. Looking around, you sighed finding yourself on the bathroom floor. It had been 3 awful months and it was as painful as the moment that you found out your lover was gone. 

_Gone…_

The word itself made your body wretch. You barely made it to the toilet before throwing up what was left in your stomach. Between vomiting and sobbing, it was a miracle that your head hadn’t exploded. You wouldn’t have objected too much to death yourself. 

Since Regulus died, under strange circumstances, you didn’t want to live. Life itself no longer had a meaning. You didn’t want to live without him. Being married for less than a month and already a widow was something that you never planned for! 

“Y/n?”

You groaned hearing Lily’s voice. Groaning, you didn’t want to deal with your sister-in-law at the moment. You wanted James, Lily, Remus, Peter and Sirius to leave you alone. They were always in your business lately trying in some way to “cheer” you up. You rolled your eyes at the thought. There was no cheering you up. You only wanted to be left alone. 

“I’m fine.”

You snapped. Lily took a breath. 

“Honey, you sound dreadful. Why don’t you come out and let me make you some chicken soup? It will feel nice on your tummy.” 

The mere thought of food made you want to vomit again. Even the promise of Lily’s amazing soup didn’t interest you. Food tasted like ash in your mouth. Nothing tasted good nor did it provide you anything that you needed. The only thing that you wanted was the bottle of fire whiskey that you had to hide in your room.

“I’m not hungry.”

You replied. Lily, on the other side of the door, felt her own heartbreak a little more. Since Regulus’ death, you had changed from a happy bubbly girl to a shadow of what you used to be. She understood though. 3 months ago, you were eagerly planning your wedding. Now you were drunk 95% of the time and in a deep state of depression that no one could fix. 

Lily had been the designated one to “comfort” you. James, bless him for trying, made the mistake of saying “not eating will not bring Regulus back.” From that day forward, James was no longer allowed to attempt in comforting you. 

“Sweetheart, you haven’t eaten in two days. This isn’t healthy.” 

Lily replied, There was silence on the other side of the bathroom door for a few moments. 

“Lily, please. Just leave me alone.” 

You waited until Lily walked away before falling back to the cold bathroom floor. Closing your eyes, all you wanted was to fall into a deep dreamless sleep…

Lily, meanwhile, stepped back into the kitchen where Sirius, James, Remus, and Walburga sat. The older woman immediately looked up. 

“Well?” 

Lily sighed. 

“She won’t come out.” 

Walburga groaned and leaned back into her chair. 

“We have to do something about her. The girl has taken up residence in the bathroom and won’t leave. I’m worried about her.” 

Lily nodded. She focused her attention on Mrs. Black. Had someone told her a few months ago that she would be sitting in the Black family home, Lily would have called them mad. Walburga Black hated everyone.

When Regulus died, and you went to shit, Walburga broke down and called her eldest son for help. Had it been anyone but you, Sirius would have told his mother to figure it out on her own. You were different. You were as close to a sister as Sirius would ever get and he wouldn’t let you go through this alone. 

James stood up. 

“We need to do something. I don’t know what though. She won’t talk to us. When she does...it's just staring and us doing the talking. I love my sister but this isn’t healthy. Regulus wouldn’t want her being like...this.” 

Walburga frowned up at him. 

“Of course, he wouldn’t but you don’t need to be telling her that...especially the way you did. Potter, you can be such an idiot.” 

James held his hands up. 

“Hey, lady, you called us for help! I love my sister but we can’t go on like this forever. If we don’t do something about her, she may die...I can’t handle that thought.”

Sirius' hand stood up and pulled James into an awkward hug. 

“We’ll figure it out, mate. Nothing is going to happen to Y/n.” 

You had pulled yourself out of the bathroom and overheard the conversation. Quietly, you turned and walked back to what was Regulus’ room. Laying down in the bed, you sighed as the tears came over you again. His scent was fading from the soft sheets and it was crushing you. The little “reminders” of your lover were slowly fading. 

“Mistress?”

You quickly sat up as Kreacher popped into the room. Kreacher was the one being that you would let within five feet of you. 

“Hello, Kreacher.”

You said, wiping a tear away from your cheek as Kreacher held out a tissue. 

“Poor mistress. It makes Kreacher sad to see you upset. Master Regulus wouldn’t…”

“I know. He wouldn’t want me like this.” 

You finished the elf’s sentence. Kreacher nodded. He knew that with you, he had the freedom to speak as he wished. You wouldn’t punish him, Like Regulus, you were kind to him and Kreacher didn’t forget it. 

“Kreacher didn’t mean to upset you.”

He replied. You shook your head. Of course, Regulus wouldn’t want you like this. He would probably be beyond upset if he knew how you were behaving. You weren’t some “Mary Sue” who went to shit when something happened to someone they loved. Y/n Potter was the strong one...or so everyone thought. When the soul-sucking depression kicked in, no one knew how to deal with you.

“You didn’t upset me. I know Regulus wouldn’t want me like this. I don’t want to be like this but I will never be happy again. Kreacher, I have a question.” 

Kreacher nodded. 

“Yes, mistress?”

You swallowed. This was a cruel question to ask the elf. He was suffering from the loss of Regulus as much as you were. 

“Did Regulus know that he was going to die that night?”

Kreacher’s eyes widened. He had been keeping his promise to Regulus and now he would break it. 

“Kreacher, if something happens to me...do not tell Y/n the truth. Don’t let her know anything because she will come after me. I do not want her harmed.” 

“Mistress, Kreacher can’t answer that. Master Regulus...he made me promise.” 

You bit your lip. The night Regulus died, there was something different in his eyes when he kissed you goodbye. At that time, you couldn’t put your mind to it. You assumed that he was moody over a task that the dark lord had given him. Working as a double agent was beginning to wear on him more than Regulus would admit. You could see it every time, he started brooding on a subject. 

Thinking back on that night, you weren't sure how you missed it. Regulus held onto you for a long time before leaving. The last kiss was different. Now, looking back, you realized how “final” it felt. 

_“Everything will be fine. I’ll be back with you as soon as I can. I promise. If anything happens while I’m away...just run...get as far away from London as possible...don’t look back.”_

You could still hear Regulus’ voice as he held your face close to his. Shaking the thoughts from your head, you turned back to Kreacher. The poor elf was beyond troubled by your order. 

“Kreacher, I order you to tell me.” 

“Master Regulus had a feeling. He ordered Kreacher to not tell you. He didn’t want you to…” 

You jumped out of bed and started looking for your coat. 

“Take me to where it happened, Kreacher.” 

Kreacher’s mouth dropped as he quickly ran to you and wrapped his scaly little arms around your leg. 

“Mistress, please don’t make Kreacher do this. You’ll be killed too. Kreacher and Mistress Walburga do not want to lose you too. Master Regulus wouldn’t want you to be harmed.” 

You quickly tugged on your coat and attempted to fix your bed ravaged curls. The smart side of your brain said to stop. This was madness. If you went after Regulus, you would probably die too. The depressed side however said, oh well. You would get your wish. You could be with Regulus again. 

Maybe it was a selfish thing to do...to go like this. It would hurt those you loved more than you would possibly realize. In your current state, however, you didn’t see it that way. You wanted the truth that no one would give you. If you died getting that truth...oh well. Your friends would be okay without you. They were strong. 

“Take me to him, Kreacher.” 

Kreacher started sobbing hysterically at this command. 

“Please don’t make Kreacher do it. Kreacher already watched Master Regulus die…”

“Now, Kreacher.”

You said, emotionlessly. Kreacher looked up and hesitantly took your hand. 

The next thing that you knew, you stood in a dark cave with nothing around you but water. Kreacher was holding your hand like a toddler would a parent that they didn’t want to let out of their sight. 

“What is this place?”

You questioned. Kreacher looked up. 

“The dark lord...Master Regulus found out one of his secrets. It was a locket...a locket that could change everything. Master Regulus made Kreacher take him back here after the dark lord made Kreacher drink a nasty potion. Mistress, Master died a hero...can’t that be enough?”

You shook your head.

“What actually happened here?”

Kreacher sighed. He knew that he was not getting through to you. There was a vacant empty expression in your normally kind eyes. 

“Master Regulus had to drink a potion to switch the locket. The potion...it's horrible. Kreacher offered to drink it again but Master Regulus said no and drank it himself. He gave Kreacher the locket and ordered Kreacher to destroy it but that hasn’t happened.” 

You took in the elf’s words with a frown. 

“What happened to Regulus?”

Kreacher’s bloodshot eyes went to the lake where Regulus was dragged in. 

“Master Regulus was drowned by the inferi. He went under the water and Kreacher was only able to watch. Mistress, we must go...it isn’t safe here.” 

You patted Kreacher’s head ignoring the elf’s pleas before slowly walking down to the waterline. 

“Don’t interfere.” 

You ordered. Kreacher meanwhile, was jumping up and down in a panicked state as you looked down into the water. Your heart froze the moment that you saw Regulus lying right below the surface of the water. It took all that you had not to jump in after him. 

“Reggie…”

You whispered his name, half expecting his grey eyes to open but they didn’t. Looking down at him, you were relieved that he didn’t look “dead.” He simply looked as if he had been asleep. His dark curls floated around his head just dying for you to reach out for him. Your eyes fluttered down to his full lips as your mouth suddenly ached for his kiss again. It would be so easy. Just one last touch...

“Mistress, please don’t. Master Regulus isn’t alive anymore...he’s…”

“Gone.”

You finished Kreacher’s sentence before slowly dipping your hand into the water. The moment that your fingers grazed over his left hand, Regulus’ eyes snapped open. His dreamy gaze had been replaced with that of a monster. Milk white orbs glared up at you as his right hand reached over and effortlessly tugged you into the water. 

As you suddenly decided to fight back, you couldn’t breakaway. Regulus’ arms were around your waist tugging you deeper and deeper into the lake. Your lungs ached for air. 

“Well, isn’t this nice? So this is death...this is what I wanted…” 

Regulus’ arms tightened, if possible, around your waist. As everything began to become hazy, you reached out touching his cheek. 

“Till death do us part…”

You thought before everything went black….

“Y/n?” 

You heard your name being called...the voice...that voice. 

“Wake up, Y/n.” 

You felt your eyes move before slowly opening. Regulus sat in front of you with a worried frown on his face. 

“Regulus!” 

You were up and in his arms, knocking Regulus backward. His arms were around you as he broke into a smile. 

“Hi, my love.” 

Reaching out, you cupped his face. The dream was warm...warm and real. 

“Am I dead? This is heaven?”

Regulus gently sat both of you upward. His smile fell and for a moment you worried that he was angry. He ran his hand down the length of your face. Regulus knew exactly what happened. He had seen all of it. What you didn’t realize was he was watching the whole time shrieking and begging you to listen to Kreacher. The moment you hit the water, he knew begging was doing him no favors. Regulus could only watch as you met the same grizzly fate as him. 

Soon...

“Yes. I’ve been waiting for you...I kind of expected it to not be so soon.” 

You couldn’t meet his gaze. 

“I didn’t want to be without you.” 

Regulus snuggled his forehead against yours. Your eyes shined up at him as you breathed his scent in. For the first time, you felt at peace. 

“Now we don’t have to be away from each other...ever again.” 

(Epilogue...years later…)

Harry stood in front of Horace Slughorn’s “shelf” looking at all of the photos of his favorite students. His eyes stopped on a familiar face. Harry had seen your photo numerous times of the years especially since Sirius had come into his life. Slughorn walked over and smiled instantly looking at the photo. 

“Ah yes, you aunt Y/n. She was such a lovely girl. This photo was taken at her wedding to your uncle Regulus Black. There had never been a more beautiful bride. It's a shame things went the way that they did for Regulus and Y/n. Fate can be cruel and confusing. I know Y/n would have never been happy without Regulus. People said she was weak because she didn’t make it without him. I don’t think that she was though. Love is a wonderful thing but it can also be brutal.” 

Harry could only nod and hope that you had gotten the peace that you were looking for. Maybe just maybe, he had his parents and his aunt looking down upon him proud with what they saw…


End file.
